Goodbye 2009

 

Obituary of an insect

The boys are addicted to insects. They beat me and Big M up when we do not display compassion toward the insect tribe.

Growl:Leave them alone. Let them go.

When I instinctively beat up a housefly, Peanut was distressed. The fly was dying and swirling down. Says Peanut: It was a brave insect.It went up and down and side to side.

Like you tell me boys:I'm so proud of you:)

Struggling

I tried for a while....lugged you to the library....read books....tried a tonne of things...switched on the PC for you so that you would be interested in the New York Met Museum.

Then I had my aha moment...you are four....I am trying to do what?

Right now, I wait for the next semester and really think about how involved I have been with the story of my life. It's the first time I'm teaching...so I was under pressure that way to get things done. Everything had an air of pressure behind it. The good thing now is that I am relieved. I know that teaching is a slow process- you don't have to breathe down someone's neck. You just have to be composed and believe in your methods with utter simple faith, the way you choose or not to believe in god.

So I will use my simple methods once again. With joy. With patience. Otherwise see that headache coming.

FM Twinz

Yes have been lazy about updating on Peanut and Growl...they have changed tremendously over the last two months. Terribly lazy to write yet hypertalkative...I should be recording everything they are doing.....but I'm a way too preoccupied mom. I've had enough time off guys to tell you guys that I'm glad I've had you. But I'm tired. The amoebisasis plus flu has knocked me out..........

Growl: Jupiter fell down and chicks fell out.

Peanut: Uncle and Grampa look the same. They don't have any hair.

Growl: I can't eat with my right hand. I have no bones.

Peanut: Why does he get everything-blocks and cycle?

Peanut/Growl: I'm so happy. I like you.

Peanut: Grampa doesn't like violence. I like.

This list is a fraction of the continuous jabber FM Twinz.

Do you know you have a genius cousin....I wonder when you guys will start writing. I've completely stopped forcing you. I want you to be happy like the sunny days you talk about. Never melacholic. Ever Never.

Farm trip

You went to a farm from school today on bus route no.11.

You saw a mama duck and a baby duck. the duck wore boots or goggles....like goggles you thought. You meant webbed feet.

You saw a goat tied up to a tree. It had a moustache.

You had a juice which melted on its way home. and yes you saw a green and white turtle like a fish.

The animals are sad, I said. As they are tied up. No, you said, the animals are happy. if you don't tie them up, the animals will run away.

I said you are cute. You said, was amma a cute baby?

You will grow up and leave the nest, won't you? Your eyes, those baby eyes of freedom and ignorance and innocence, they will narrow and thin and search for meaning. I will miss you.

Ant in the potty

I should use my vid camera more....yes boys I have one and you will ask me some day why I didn't use it. Well I guess I am lazy and your dad has a photographic memory.

Growl:Does ant do soo-soo?

Me:I don't kno.

Growl:It can't do. It will fall in the potty.

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Grampa found all that funny. He talked about telling a cowherd boy how he believed that one could touch the sky from a hill.

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Grampa scolds you.

Peanut: Be quiet. I will take him and him and him out. You stay at home alone and cry by yourself.
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Your report cards seem to imply that Growl is getting used to school and Peanut obviously is more into having fun. LKG report card.....first term. Your dad had nothing to ask. I seemed worried to your teacher but I'm not really....You fill me with pride and make me laugh.

Cute conversations

Peanut: That plane has four guns.

Me: Wow...how do you know?

Peanut: It has four guns. it's a military plane.

Me:Why does it need guns?

Peanut: Because it has to fight the bad planes.

Me:Which are the bad planes.

Peanut:The bad planes are in the other airport.

Things u say

I always think that I'll record what you say...but things come up....mostly u get sick. Most of August you were sick. Now again.

Growl to the clouds:

I want to give you kiss
Clouds big and small
Come to me
I like you.

To me:

You are so sweet.

Growl to Sanju:

Sometimes buses come on time, sometimes they are late.

This is a nice painting.

Peanut says the darnest things like how an elephant drinks milk or talks to its mother.

And he says it with elan: eeeeeehhhhhhhhh

You talk so much. You even say hello in Russian. When you saw an Antonov plane, you said hello to it in Russian.

You always want to go out, everywhere except school....

Strange times

Peanut has an up and down viral fever and with the flu being around, doc says to sit tight and not take any chances.

Growl:It is unbelievable and anirusable.

Me: What's that?

Growl:I can't believe that.

Stayed at home with them. Is hard to feed Peanut as his mouth is filled with ulcers. He lives on tea.

Peanut to doc(preoccupied): I can't eat anything. I can only have tea.

All you can do when people die around you is trust. People die all the time. Everyday. A new virus to fear, that's all.

They can write 1 and 6, A and H.

Problems

1. You both don't swim. I drew you a story so that you will at least try next week.

2. Peanut bites kids. Either he is hungry or he is just being silly. So( after a good scolding)I drew a Peanut bit a little girl story and he tells me:But Monan Lal fights with everyone.

What can you say to that?

Tidbits

Growl puts a coat on gramma and says: Let's cut your hair.

Peanut: I don't believe that.

Growl: I have so many activities.

They don't understand what they are saying but they like talking continuously. They've warmed up to grampa so much it's like grampa's been here forever:)

Growl you have problem with writing. I'm not forcing you as you have to get used to a whole bunch of new things and it's okay to be angry. Peanut, you're doing things with your left hand now. You like to draw and scribble. But of course you two are movie buffs and know your actors and moser baer and all that.

Yesterday you were dancing to gone away-Michael Jackson.

You drove me crazy in the book store. Screaming, running around a lady who wasn't likin it, pushing a stool.....you drive me crazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!

Clarification

I don't know if you will ever read this blog. Anyway if you do, this is something that I want you to read about the answer I get each time I ask myself if going to work is the right thing.

The seed cannot know what is going to happen, the seed has never known the flower. And the seed cannot even believe that he has the potentiality to become a beautiful flower. Long is the journey, and it is always safer not to go on that journey because unknown is the path, nothing is guaranteed.

Nothing can be guaranteed. Thousand and one are the hazards of the journey, many are the pitfalls - and the seed is secure, hidden inside a hard core. But the seed tries, it makes an effort; it drops the hard shell which is its security, it starts moving. Immediately the fight starts: the struggle with the soil, with the stones, with the rocks. And the seed was very hard and the sprout will be very, very soft and dangers will be many.

There was no danger for the seed, the seed could have survived for millennia, but for the sprout many are the dangers. But the sprout starts towards the unknown, towards the sun, towards the source of light, not knowing where, not knowing why. Great is the cross to be carried, but a dream possesses the seed and the seed moves.

The same is the path for man. It is arduous. Much courage will be needed.

Commentary:

This card shows a small wildflower that has met the challenge of the rocks and stones in its path to emerge into the light of day. Surrounded by an aura of bright golden light, it exposes the majesty of its tiny self. Unashamed, it is equal to the brightest sun.

When we are faced with a very difficult situation we have a choice: we can either be resentful, and try to find somebody or something to blame for the hardships, or we can face the challenge and grow.

The flower shows us the way, as its passion for life leads it out of the darkness and into the light. There is no point fighting against the challenges of life, or trying to avoid or deny them. They are there, and if the seed is to become the flower we must go through them. Be courageous enough to grow into the flower you are meant to be.

Osho's words ring so true. I thought I was imagining things the first time I got the answer. Then it kept happening each and every time. Hope you guys cooperate with gramma. It's for two-three hours and on Saturdays too. It's a big step for me. I've never really done anything compromising you two.

You both are scared of swimming. The teacher showed you bugs today, so you were excited. You've grown very thin. Really, my babies, you have changed the texture of my life- there was a picture of an albatross that moved me to crying one day, a lonely albatross chick waiting for its mother. Surely this must be the most beautiful relationship in the world, at least now.

Two weeks of school

You both have acclimatized in bits to the new hectic school life. Of course, you have trouble with the bus. It is yuk and too hot. Plus you don't eat canteen food as much. You are learning all sorts of things though and I can discern a tiny element of change.

You have become naughtier. Right now your favorite phrase is 'You will die.'When I ask what die means, you both pant and fall down.

School is good. They send topic sheets every week and a library book on weekends. You even had some homework. Colouring humpty dumpty. That was a problem for you both. I think Peanut is a leftie.

I lost my temper yesterday. I'm scared stiff of joining work and leaving you to the world for two hours. Let's see.

School days

You've been waking up at 5:55 and leaving for the school bus at seven. By the time you come home, you are puffed up with the nap-in-the-bus. Then you are full of school-conserved energy.

I get tired, waking up at five and then my ablutions and then packing you off-how will I go for work? Someone told me 'Have courage'.

I suppose with Gramma here, this might work. I won't think about it anymore. As Grampa says, Cross the bridge when it comes.'

You've learnt concepts like 'me, myself, family...' and you also have picked up some new vocabulary like: floating, activity....

All the time you want me to read to you. Or you are hanging from the sofa. Or wiping powder on the cupboard. Or running around in circles. And now you have this obsession with going downstairs for a walk. You love walking with Grampa. You show him every car and identify each one.

First day at school

When you left in the little yellow bus, I didn't realize but both of us were teary eyed.

I think you liked it; though in your usual way, you didn't really tell me much about what happened.

Growl: The bus was hot.

Funnily I was in school too, paying bills and things like that. The school was a din.

It was a hectic week- learning yoga, purchasing school stuff, anxiety attacks about going to college.....cannot live in the present the way you do!!!!!!!!!

Grampa helped label your books, water bottles, snack box.....he's the only person you don't raise your hand on.

School's round the corner!

we got your uniforms. now have to buy shoes and socks.

Grandma will be around if I have to go for work. It's a day job-a six hour stint. let's see if it works.

peanut: we have to go to Nursery everyday.

you don't mind going to the creche for three hours. you eat better too. you have changed. of course you fight and are unreasonable and rude, but i think you have grown up in a little way.

that makes me sad and happy.

you say big words like encyclopaedia and hippopotamus.

wonder what grandpa will say when he sees you.

makes me want to cry thinking about that.

Great site for phonics

http://www.starfall.com/n/level-k/index/load.htm?f

IBM

When Peanut saw the IBM company yesterday, he says: Amma your computer.

IBM whose?

I wasn't sure about that one.

So here.

New library

Today I found us a new library- it's exclusively for kids. You loved it there. It's expensive but it is worth it.

Where's the fish-Dan Crisp
The Cat in the Hat- Dr Seuss
Why should I help series
I can draw animals-Usborne Playtime
Old Turtle-Douglas Wood

Elmo seems to be your favorite. After TV of course. Nothing can replace Mr Bean, can it?:)

Kookabara

You both are going to the creche again. You had a week off. All you do at home is lie on the floor and watch TV. I suspect you get bored. Today we had a look at animals and the sounds they make. This sound made me very happy:

http://animals.nationalgeographic.com/animals/birds/laughing-kookaburra.html

We spent an hour on animals, birds, bugs and sounds. Now it's back to Mr Bean.

You didn't like the swimming pool I showed you yesterday. So no enrolment for swimming lessons.

Growl says: Peanut is my friends.

He defends Peanut from the little girl downstairs. It is cute to watch.

Bored stiff

Bored twins can be difficult.

Peanut and Growl watch me go to the dentist. It's great to be circling around the city in an auto and not really thinking about anything except the fact that the flowers are blooming in firey orange prints.

You watch me leave and wait for me to come home and give you chocolates(something I pick up from a shady department store). At home you demand that Big M switch on the TV. All you do is watch Pogo. I don't know if I should send you swimming. You both have a dreadful cold.

The other day we passed a building and you said Confident group. You've taken a fancy to kulcha and butter chicken. We had a great eating out weekend and for once you guys show interest in Food.

Let the kids be.

Good advice I mostly stick to unless you don't let me be.

Talkative

You guys talk so much!

Ideal Travels-Bus-So many bus-There's the moon-Its going-Wheres it?-Between the trees-Moon is sleeping in the tree-Piggys goin by bus-Which bus?

Toyota Corolla- Toyota Collora-Colloraaaaaaaaaaaa-Corolla-Colloraaaaaaaaaaaa!

The new school has changed them a bit....they've become closer...

Cut your panga

You had a blast with your grandparents.Plus you loved the short trip. We visited the zoo, the gardens, went by boat, saw a palace where what you loved the most was the open spaces and a balloon floating inside. A whole week of mall hopping and sight seeing.

You like luxurious five star hotels.

Peanut doesn't seem to like his new school. Growl does though. Maybe they are being told what to do. I don't do that as much and as result you are a bit on the wild side. But isn't that the only way you can be friendly less suspicious adults?

Its a theory I'm working on. Already you know too much of what you want.

Your logic confounds me. You know the brand names of shampoo and recognize things like Koleston hair gel.

Your favorite words:

Cut your panga soo soo madame.

Peanut's world

You smiled when I put in the cloud, the plane, and of course you( you have a fever today)....

Technically the last day of school!

Technically yes. Tomorrow is the last day of your preschool.

Can't believe it. This year has been the pinnacle of your naughty phase. You both even have a reputation as being little monsters. There is gossip going around about my leniency and my aggressiveness/passivity.

Don't worry about reputation. It's the crowning glory of social existence.

The day after I'll be launching you in a tiny school near home. Hope it works out for you and them. You'll have a snowballing of relatives this month, so you will freak out. You do read Boswell the kitchen cat when you are with me, but come the outsider and you lose all bearings and celebrate! Many misunderstand your boisterousness.

Wonder what we'll make of it years ahead!:)

Kaas

That's what you say when you see Gandhi's picture. Changing times- changing ideas:)

Growl and Peanut, you've become really imaginative always pretending you are someone else in an imaginary car with a cupboard key that could be the real Key.
You haven't outgrown pouring the Lizol, drinking cough syrup by yourself or throwing sugar around. But you have changed a little. You're connecting now.

If I put on my shirt, the cream I like that you smeared on my forehead will go. So don't put the cream:Peanut

I don't want to have lunch. I'm not hungry : Growl and his anti-food tactics. Why are you so disinterested in food?

Fracture healed.......

Growl, your hand is still bent a little. But the cast is off.

You two were elated at an egg cafe yesterday. You run around in circles with knives and forks and say things like:

Catch me soo soo sam

Of course we couldn't really enjoy dinner at all.

I tried to sit you down and make you write your ABCs. That seems to be a bad idea especially for Peanut. You like the story about Daisy duck looking for her mother but you like keys the most- keys belonging to all your relatives.

I've oiled your hand Growl, hope it straightens in six months......

Gone granny,gone aunt

You like to irritate them, don't you? In the morning you asked where they had gone. Then nothing. I find you more paternal. But there is a time when the maternal matters. Unfortunately, it is the bad times.......

You've also become far too playful. Don't count, don't read. Only play. I feed you more Bread and Cream...that's all you seem to like.

You also spit on everyone and everything. Run around with the toothpaste and shaving sticks and knives. Open the fridge-close the fridge. Today the TV's dead, everyday you're on a killing spree. One day we went to a mall, all of us together, and you created such a ruckus, I had to have a dose of pain killers.

Some days I decide, I have Failed.

Other days, I say I'm proud that you are so liberated in all you do-especially crying.

Found a new site for you:

http://pbskids.org/teletubbies/splat.html

Before the fracture

Peanut, Dance will you!

Dance Peanut...even if Growl has a fracture don't throw away your chance:)

I can't believe the way your teachers can't see that this is the way you show your love. Just hope Peanut that you do the dance today....practise and then perform on March 7. I've got your tux ready.

Yesterday I had a check up and it got me thinking about life. You guys have to make the most of life. That makes for happy memories.....

Gr8 site

Fantastic site for kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://kids.nationalgeographic.com/

Report Card.

Your report cards say you are improving....

Growl:is aloof, likes to draw more, is naughty but relies on Peanut a great deal.

Peanut: is social, a great dancer and very naughty.

They'll be missed in school. One teacher especially loves them terribly. She even dreams of them when they are away.

Growl has an eye infection and we visited a nice old doctor who had a lot of kind words about bringing the boys up. I am under tremendous pressure for various reasons. It is hard to please the whole world..........hope I do justice to my role as mother. Pray for that always.

Am I being too hard on you?

Nowadays I spend time checking out blogs on how to communicate with three year olds as sometimes I don't understand the freakiness in your actions and your disrespect for elders. Your utter disregard of social conduct(worse than even my sudden outbursts) makes me wonder am I getting it wrong or am I right in chastizing you?

It's the teacher syndrome. I go through this with my students too. Am I being too lenient? Allowing them to talk so that I have to raise my voice to unbelievable decibels just so that I can get across the message.

And then the whole issue of control comes into the picture. Why do people act the dominating way they do-because that is the way of the world and someone has to be up there or down here? All this talk of equality is turning into nothing but a curious waste of time........

Then I see you both on your trip playing your freaky games with a joy that we are all searching for and I realize that all I have to do is sit back and watch the fun. It's only that simple-at least for a millisecond.

Growing up............

You're growing up so fast I can see changes in you every day. One big change is the way you play with Big M. Another is the way you chatter till my ears hurt and the way you love to play till you drop in the evenings...........

You love cars and planes and this picture is from the time we went to HAL museum. You liked the circular structure and the chronological arrangement of pictures from the 1940s to the present day.

Peanut(left) says I want to be a pilot....yesterday he said he would rather fly a commercial plane.

Wonder what you will turn out to be....

Growl still wants a Prestige Pressure Cooker. He tells me to add it to my shopping list:)

You can tell many alphabets apart these days. Today you listened to some R for Ravi Shankar. Strange music...haunting...disturbing....that's what I thought.

Changing lives

How fast you grow!

Now you are in the spitting phase. You beat up Big M! You shout and protest. You scream. You beg and say NO NO Please.

Peanut has developed a sudden immense obsession with airplanes, so much that he refuses to move from the window at his bedside-the window that showcases his favorite fighter jets.

Growl loves his cars and was particularly taken by grand dad's Buick. Though he likes modern cars. None of the fancy fins of Cadillacs for him!

They follow me into supermarkets these days and yell out at every brand that has caught their eye through commercials. They watch far too much Television and they are extremely observant. Another fetish they have is hiding under sheets and doing the strangest things!

I am tired sometimes, with all this work and writing and learning,etc. But it is a welcome change- this flourish of activity.

Questions and Answers:


What's on that aunty's head?

Thalamanda

What's in your tummy?

Baby

Where is the plane?

In the sky. I want to be pilot. I want cockpit key.


Who do you like?

I like everyone.

For Peanut the Pilot-pic of a plane

Bugs,bugs,bugs

I don't know what it is about you and bugs. You love two books I got you about bugs-mayflies, ladybugs, praying mantis, caterpillars, butterflies, moths.....and an entire book on spiders and the spider silk that they spin out through spinnerets.

You don't get most of the terminology but you patiently listen as I read to you. You also like Thomas the Engine and the story of how he got his own branch line.

Sometimes you tire me with your tantrums and frighten me with your disinterest in alphabets. You still can't tell A from K:) But you can tell a Lamborghini from a Ferrari. SO fair enough. You've proved yourself. And you like Ghajhini and obnoxiously bloody movies, which I tell the husband to stop relaying.

Where do we go wrong as parents? And what about the right things we do...don't forget. I think about that a great deal. Only you would know.